Suicide Lies

Suicide lies; it offers hope to the hopeless. It offers a hand in the darkness; it offers peace of mind and a solution to the everyday issues. Suicide lies. There is no way to explain suicide, experience is the teacher. In the same way you can train for the army, you can experience the hardships, until you are actually out in a war zone, you cannot understand. In the same way a women can go to all the pregnancy classes in the world, until she has experienced that moment of childbirth, they do not really know. In that same way, reading about the darkness one faces in the choice of suicidal thinking and intentions  until one has actually tried, it cannot be understood.

It is a lonely, dark, cold place to be in. Hopeless despair, guilt, shame anger, pain, and peace all rolled into one. It is hate and love; it is joy and sadness rolled into one. It is a paradoxical state of affairs, drenched in ambivalent emotions – It is confusing! It is crying out for help, yet believing in the end. It is a wanting to die, with a need to live, it is like a thousand different emotions all trying to fight their way through until you make a decision.

Suicide lies; it offers you a solution, but death is not a solution, it is a permanent fixture. Suicide lies; it offers you hope in the mist of the every growing darkness and hopelessness, but death is an ending to everything. Suicide lies; it makes out like there is no other choice, when there is always another choice and suicide lies because it makes you feel as though it is the right choice to make, when it is not.

There are so many ways that suicide lies, but for me they were the ways suicide was lying to me.
Katherine Thompson, 20/06/2013