Dear Jesus

Hello Dear Jesus,
It’s been a long, long time.
I hope that you still know me;
I've been hiding quite awhile.
I know that you know all things
Still, I think I should explain,
the reason I've been hiding
is because of all the shame.
I know that I don’t look so great
for meeting up with you,
but I hope you understand
I've been alone along time now.
You probably see the dirt marks
and smudges on my face.
But it seems no matter how I try
some things can’t be erased.
They say that eyes are windows
that peer into the soul.
I’m afraid that if you look there,
you’ll find it dark and cold.
I’m not sure why it is Lord,
but you won’t see any tears.
I guess they've just been locked up
inside of me all these years.
Now if you ask a question
I won’t have much to say.
I've found that no one really wants
to hear me anyway.
And if you care to listen,
Sit quiet and you’ll hear
how hard my heart is pounding.
That’s because of fear.
You’ll notice that I wrap my arms
around me all the time.
I do that for protection
of the things that should be mine.
See, in this time I've kept silent,
Without an ounce of care,
Someone took away from me
Things I never meant to share.
And if you find I tremble
when you come close to me,
it’s because of all the many things
that these people did to me.
Jesus I’m so sorry
if these things have saddened you.
But when I cried out to you
you never told me what to do.
I know that in my mother’s womb
You created me
And I can’t help but wonder
Is this what I was meant to be?
They say that you are everywhere,
With each and every one,
But it seems that on those dark nights
You left me all alone.
They tell me that you love me
And I suppose it could be true,
But Jesus, please remember
These people loved me too.
So Jesus please understand
These things I say to you
If you come much closer
I may just have to move
Not because I don’t want to talk
Or sit quietly with you
Just simply because I’m afraid
Of what it is you’ll do.
Katherine Thompson, 20/06/2013